“If you can change your mind, you can change your life”- William James
I’m going to start this post with a little preface. Lately, I’ve been kind of stuck in a rut. I’ve had a lot of drama going on in my personal life and I’ve just been feeling unmotivated. I decided to wake up early and force myself to write this post. I was originally going to title it “10 little changes to improve your life” but as I started writing, it got a lot deeper than that. And to be quite honest, I feel like I am in a total different head space now than I was when I first started writing. I think I got a lot off my chest and as I was typing, I was kind of working through my own thoughts and figuring my own life out. So I didn’t really know how to title this, but it is what it is!
I love keeping things simple.
Because I think over complicating things that can be kept very simple only causes anxiety. And I hate to break it to you, but all of your problems could most likely be solved if you just took a step back and stopped over complicating things.
Sometimes making the smallest changes in your life and in your mind can have the biggest effects.
So with that brief bit of personal philosophy, let’s talk about 10 ways to make a big change in your happiness.
Spend 10% of your time dwelling on the problem
And 90% of your time focusing on a solution. I want to write a full blog post on this eventually, but I am absolutely the type of person who tends to focus too much on the problem, which can lead to me feeling bad for myself. And that’s not good at all. Whether the problem is a major life crisis or just an everyday issue, focusing the majority of your efforts on finding solutions than feeling bad for yourself.
Focus on the good
I used to read this quote all the time and think it was such bullshit. How can you focus on the good if there is so much bad going on in your life? While I’m not saying to ignore all of your problems, it is so important to find the good. I can guarantee that every single person reading this has some good that they can find in their life. Instead of spending your time dwelling on the bad, focus on that one good thing.
You can’t please everyone
I never realized this is a huge issue of mine until recently, but oh honey, it is. For some strange reason, it really, really bothers me when someone doesn’t like me. I feel like in general, I put in a huge effort to make the people around me like me (or at least tolerate me), so when someone doesn’t, it really puts a huge damper on my spirits. Although I am still working on finding my own personal solution to this issue, I think it really helps to realize that no matter what you do, not everyone is going to like you. And this isn’t your fault. You can’t please everyone, and trying to will only make yourself unhappy.
Keep a clean atmosphere
I’ve said it time and time again, if your work space is clean, you will be so much more productive. If your living space is clean, you will be so much happier. You don’t need to be a minimalist or anything to have this work. If you feel like your space is clear, your mind will be so much more clear.
Look at it from an outsiders view
If you are someone who has a rather anxious mind like myself, you can sometimes get so wrapped up in a problem that you tend to lose sight of what the issue really is. If I am in an argument or a disagreement with someone, I like to take both of us out of the situation and pretend that I am looking at it as an outsider. As if the issue was with two random people who I don’t know. Even if the issue is just with yourself, look at it as if it were someone else’s problem. This is honestly how I solve all my problems and it has never failed me.
Set realistic expectations
When it comes to setting expectations for myself, I’m a bit of a dreamer. I will say to myself “Okay Kayla. Let’s get 5 blog posts planned, researched, written, edited, and scheduled today.” Then I start working and realize it takes an hour to plan a post, an hour to research a post, 2 hours to write a post, and an hour to edit a post. That’s 5 hours. It is not possible to do 25 hours of work in 24 hours. I also tend to set expectations for other people and my relationships with them, which is SO BAD. I didn’t realize I did this until a few months ago, but it is such a horrible thing to do. Setting expectations that are too high only leads to letting yourself down. Now, please set high expectations for yourself. Motivate yourself. But don’t set unachievable expectations.
Recognize toxic relationships
I will be the first to admit, I absolutely have toxic relationships in my life that I am not ready to give up. This doesn’t necessarily apply to romantic relationships, it can be any type of relationship. I know we’ve all been there. Even if you’re not willing to give up something in your life you know is toxic (which is a whole different topic in itself), realize that it is. Pretending that you are in a healthy relationship with someone doesn’t help anyone. If you’re ready to give up the relationship, do it. By all means, do it. But if you’re not, be aware of it and keep it in the back of your mind.
I don’t care if you don’t consider yourself a “travel person”, book a trip right now and go. I can promise you, you will not regret it. Travelling is such a great way to discover new things and discover more about yourself. I have never encountered a person who says they regretted traveling, but I have met so many people who say they regret NOT travelling.
Take time for yourself
The world is a crazy busy place and it can be so easy to get caught up in it. If you are constantly go, go, go, you’re going to burn out. Taking time at the end of the day to spend alone. Write in a journal, do yoga, meditate, whatever it is that makes you feel relaxed and alone(but in a good way).
Be nice to everyone you meet
This is so lame and cliche, but stay with me. Think about all of the times someone has said something rude to you that ruined your day. Now think about all of the times that someone went out of their way to be nice to you. I know for me personally, if a stranger goes out of their way to be nice to me, it makes my day. Be that person for someone else. Not only will it make them feel good, it will make you feel good too.
That’s all folks! I really hope some of these tips helped at least one of you! If it did or if you have any tips for me, please let me know in the comments!
I hope you have an amazing morning, afternoon, or night.